Habits I'm glad I never started.

• Tipping the grocery store bag boy.
• Smoking cigars.
• Picking the lint from my belly button on Tuesdays.
• Serving nightly gourmet meals.
• Ironing my sheets.
• Greeting new neighbors with cakes.
• Kissing strangers the European way.
• Maintaining a vegetable garden.
• Biting my toenails.
• Thumb twiddling, or wrestling.
• The Midnight Snack.
• Running Marathons
• Weighing myself daily.
• Making New Year's Resolutions

A Holiday for Sluts. Happy Halloween.

Browsing the rack of costumes at the local Target with my 12 year old daughter, we both came to the conclusion that Halloween is the Holiday for skin bearing teens to get a little more promiscuous... as if a holiday was in fact necessary. One click on Google brought me here:

Slutty Halloween Costumes

Adult

French Maid Dress Costume

XS (Teen), Small & Medium

 Don't think I am a prude- by any stretch- I have absolute admiration for beauty, in all forms. And I do love the costume party. Sexy outfits or scary, I say.

 I had a recent tête-à-tête with a guy pal about the outfits some "kids" are wearing in public on a regular basis.  My point was, dang.. save some mystery. His point was, nope, make me stop and stare.  


And when the DH said he was recently hit on by very touchy-feeling co-eds so skantily clad they were presumed to be cheerleaders, I was thinking... but were they pretty on the inside, too? 


Of course when forty- somethings talk about "kids" we mean twenty-somethings, and when we say outfits we mean bikini tops and mini skirts, pajama bottoms and grandpa's flannel shirt, and maybe part of my hesitation now is that A. I am not that twenty-something getting the stop and stare and B. My daughter soon will be.

The life of a writer

It isn't the same for any of us.. and sometimes you want to slap the shit out some of them... but this guy? This guy I want to buy beers with and go sailing.
Check out Mike's great blog post for a fantastic retreat that CATERS TO WRITERS. DO YOU HEAR ME, WORDSMITHS??

What are you counting down to?

It's exactly that long until I will be surrounded by two of the things I love the most.

Water and writers.

JOIN US AT SANTA ROSA BEACH, FLORIDA.

Where will you be?

Tell Me Something Good

You know I like the fashion. You know I like the music. You know I like the CHAKA KHAN.

AND you know I like to tell you something good. It's coming. I promise. For now.. feel the funk.

What should I read next?

You could go here and see what they tell you to read.

 You could answer a few questions here and see what they recommend.

 You could read the NYTimes bestseller list

1	THE GIRL WHO KICKED THE HORNET’S NEST, by Stieg Larsson. (Knopf, $27.95.) The third volume of a trilogy about a Swedish hacker and a journalist. Excerpt	2	14
2	THE POSTCARD KILLERS, by James Patterson and Liza Marklund. (Little, Brown, $27.99.) An N.Y.P.D. detective joins a Swedish reporter in a search for the killer of young couples in Europe, including his daughter and her boyfriend.	1	2
3	SPIDER BONES, by Kathy Reichs. (Scribner, $26.99.) Temperance Brennan investigates the case of a man who seems to have died twice.		1
4	THE HELP, by Kathryn Stockett. (Amy Einhorn/Putnam, $24.95.) A young white woman and two black maids in 1960s ­Mississippi.	3	74
5	BEARERS OF THE BLACK STAFF (LEGENDS OF SHANNARA), by Terry Brooks. (Del Rey/Ballantine, $27.) The denizens of a valley are left vulnerable when their protective layer of magic disappears.		1
6	STAR ISLAND, by Carl Hiaasen. (Knopf, $26.95.) A paparazzo attempting to kidnap a drug-addled pop star grabs her stunt double by mistake. Excerpt	5	5
7	TOUGH CUSTOMER, by Sandra Brown. (Simon & Schuster, $26.99.) A private investigator pursues a deranged killer.	6	3
8	THE RED QUEEN, by Philippa Gregory. (Touchstone/Simon & Schuster, $25.99.) More intrigue during the War of the Roses; by the author of “The Other Boleyn Girl.”	8	4
9	THE COBRA, by Frederick Forsyth. (Putnam, $26.95.) A former C.I.A. operative is unleashed on the cocaine industry.	4	2
10	THREE STATIONS, by Martin Cruz Smith. (Simon & Schuster, $25.99.) Inspector Arkady Renko faces corrupt Russian capitalists and bureaucrats.	7	2
11	I’D KNOW YOU ANYWHERE, by Laura Lippman. (Morrow/HarperCollins, $25.99.) A man who kidnapped a 15-year-old girl contacts her from death row years later.	16	2
12*	THE REMBRANDT AFFAIR, by Daniel Silva. (Putnam, $26.95.) The art restorer and assassin Gabriel Allon discovers that there are deadly secrets behind a stolen painting.	10	6
13	LAST NIGHT AT CHATEAU MARMONT, by Lauren Weisberger. (Atria, $25.99.) A woman is challenged when her musician husband suddenly becomes a star.	9	2
14	JULIET, by Anne Fortier. (Ballantine, $25.) A woman digging into her Italian roots is surprised by what she learns.		1
15	THE VIGILANTES, by W. E. B. Griffin and William E. Butterworth IV. (Putnam, $26.95.) Members of the Philadelphia Police Department are plagued by vigilante groups.	13	3
Also Selling
16	CROSSFIRE, by Dick Francis and Felix Francis (Putnam)
17	DEAD IN THE FAMILY, by Charlaine Harris (Ace)
18	PRIVATE, by James Patterson and Maxine Paetro (Little, Brown)
19	THE PASSAGE, by Justin Cronin (Ballantine)  Excerpt
20	THE OVERTON WINDOW, by Glenn Beck (Threshold Editions/Mercury Radio Arts)
21	VEIL OF NIGHT, by Linda Howard (Ballantine)
22	SIZZLING SIXTEEN, by Janet Evanovich (St. Martin’s)
23	THE BLACK PRISM, by Brent Weeks (Little Brown & Company)
24	A DOG'S PURPOSE, by W. Bruce Cameron (Forge)
25	THE LION, by Nelson DeMille (Grand Central)
26	THE THOUSAND AUTUMNS OF JACOB DE ZOET, by David Mitchell (Random House)  Excerpt
27	THE LAST LIE, by Stephen White (Dutton)
28	THE EVOLUTIONARY VOID, by Peter F. Hamilton (DelRey/Ballantine)
29	FLY AWAY HOME, by Jennifer Weiner (Atria)
30	HANGMAN, by Faye Kellerman (Morrow/HarperCollins)
31	SUPER SAD TRUE LOVE STORY, by Gary Shteyngart (Random House)  Excerpt
32	BAD BOY, by Peter Robinson (Morrow/HarperCollins)
33	THE SEARCH, by Nora Roberts (Putnam)
34	THE GLASS RAINBOW, by James Lee Burke (Simon & Schuster)
35	DEATH ON THE D-LIST, by Nancy Grace (Hyperion)

 

or you could ask a friend

so, I'm asking...

 What should I read next?

A real story of BFF's

The Girls from Ames:

 A Story of Women & a Forty-Year Friendship

by Jeffrey Zaslow

 Born in the same year as the girls in the book, with a similar small town upbringing and  an even more similar group of close female friends, friends, that I still- in my forties, vacation with, I was drawn to the idea of this book and intrigued even more by the fact that an outsider wrote it, an outsider who’s a man.

 Wall Street Journal’s Moving On columnist, Zaslow, opens The Girls from Ames with the explanation of how he learned of these extraordinary women and their bond, and how he came to write about it- a section that intrigued the story seeker in me.

Zaslow writes a story with a journalistic bent, but manages to portray the love and closeness of these friendship bonds as the tale unfolds.

 Some of the characters seemed to be more eager to share their lives, more willing to open up for the sake of the book, but even those that fell into the background still came across as women you’d like to also meet and spend time with. I found myself comparing my friends to the girls, fitting us all into categories- athletic, popular, intellectual, hard working, nurturing...

 I hate to laugh at the way Zaslow spoke of the differences of male-male friendships and female-female ones. It reminded me of a similar conversation I had just engaged in with my gal pals. The fact that our husbands know nothing of their co-worker’s or even casual friends’ lives… the fact that most of the time the only reason they have some of these friends is because we- the wives- introduced them.

 I’m used to making new friends, and could associate with some of the women in the book who started over, came in late, or fell away a bit. Having moved more than 13 times in my adult life, I’m always leaving someone behind. Thanks to the Internet and cheap telephone plans, I’m able to continue to keep up with them and their families, although I wish the face to face time was more frequent. 

Like the girls in the book, my friends and I have been through our stages of life together, and separately, each one finding their way- to marriage, through divorce, into motherhood and through the illnesses and deaths of loved ones.

 After we rekindled some friendships face to face at our 20^th high school reunion, we decided that turning forty was a worthy milestone to begin annual girls only reunions, preferably at a warm locale with lots of wine.

I found a large house in Hilton Head, one row back from the beach, with a private pool and plenty of beds.

One flew in from London, two drove separately from Atlanta, Georgia, one from Greenville, SC, one flew down from NJ, another from upstate NY, and the last of the group drove down from NC.

We were all married, some on their second marriage, and all but one of us had children, with one pregnant at the time- it was the second marriage baby, giving her a whopping thirteen years between kids.

 We came together over food and wine and shared old stories and caught each other up on our daily happenings. There were still "preferred BFF's", but it wasn't as pronounced as high school... whether it was because of our age and new maturity or the time that had lapsed, I don't know. But we bonded, and we began to build a new kind of friendship- one that will last at least another twenty years.

If you haven't read the book, I highly recommend it. There is even a website to help you keep the girls straight, or learn more about them.
THE BOOK PAGE

Maybe reading this book will make you want to physically re-connect with your girlfriends, taking the social network "poke" to the next level, and planning that trip to the Caribbean that you had always dreamed of.