A real story of BFF's

The Girls from Ames:

 A Story of Women & a Forty-Year Friendship

by Jeffrey Zaslow

 Born in the same year as the girls in the book, with a similar small town upbringing and  an even more similar group of close female friends, friends, that I still- in my forties, vacation with, I was drawn to the idea of this book and intrigued even more by the fact that an outsider wrote it, an outsider who’s a man.

 Wall Street Journal’s Moving On columnist, Zaslow, opens The Girls from Ames with the explanation of how he learned of these extraordinary women and their bond, and how he came to write about it- a section that intrigued the story seeker in me.

Zaslow writes a story with a journalistic bent, but manages to portray the love and closeness of these friendship bonds as the tale unfolds.

 Some of the characters seemed to be more eager to share their lives, more willing to open up for the sake of the book, but even those that fell into the background still came across as women you’d like to also meet and spend time with. I found myself comparing my friends to the girls, fitting us all into categories- athletic, popular, intellectual, hard working, nurturing...

 I hate to laugh at the way Zaslow spoke of the differences of male-male friendships and female-female ones. It reminded me of a similar conversation I had just engaged in with my gal pals. The fact that our husbands know nothing of their co-worker’s or even casual friends’ lives… the fact that most of the time the only reason they have some of these friends is because we- the wives- introduced them.

 I’m used to making new friends, and could associate with some of the women in the book who started over, came in late, or fell away a bit. Having moved more than 13 times in my adult life, I’m always leaving someone behind. Thanks to the Internet and cheap telephone plans, I’m able to continue to keep up with them and their families, although I wish the face to face time was more frequent. 

Like the girls in the book, my friends and I have been through our stages of life together, and separately, each one finding their way- to marriage, through divorce, into motherhood and through the illnesses and deaths of loved ones.

 After we rekindled some friendships face to face at our 20^th high school reunion, we decided that turning forty was a worthy milestone to begin annual girls only reunions, preferably at a warm locale with lots of wine.

I found a large house in Hilton Head, one row back from the beach, with a private pool and plenty of beds.

One flew in from London, two drove separately from Atlanta, Georgia, one from Greenville, SC, one flew down from NJ, another from upstate NY, and the last of the group drove down from NC.

We were all married, some on their second marriage, and all but one of us had children, with one pregnant at the time- it was the second marriage baby, giving her a whopping thirteen years between kids.

 We came together over food and wine and shared old stories and caught each other up on our daily happenings. There were still "preferred BFF's", but it wasn't as pronounced as high school... whether it was because of our age and new maturity or the time that had lapsed, I don't know. But we bonded, and we began to build a new kind of friendship- one that will last at least another twenty years.

If you haven't read the book, I highly recommend it. There is even a website to help you keep the girls straight, or learn more about them.
THE BOOK PAGE

Maybe reading this book will make you want to physically re-connect with your girlfriends, taking the social network "poke" to the next level, and planning that trip to the Caribbean that you had always dreamed of.

Blogher and GM Atlanta had me drinking and driving. Just not in that order.

Driving into downtown Atlanta is always an adventure, whether I’m coming in for the theater or a literary event or just a nice dinner with the husband. This time though, I was headed to Atlantic Station to ooh and ahh over some very pretty 2009 GM Saturn vehicles, followed by hors d’ouevres and cocktails with some fellow bloggers.

Planning for afternoon traffic, I arrived in plenty of time to stroll the streets, hit up H&M’s buy one get one free sale, change my clothes in the restroom at TWELVE and meet a fun gal at the lobby bar who told me the story of her first Saturn, a going away to college gift.
Araba Dowell of GM gave me a Saturn reviewer lanyard and a mini Saturn backpack with some pamphlets and Spanish brochures. We joked later that we were glad at least the photographs were in English.
Bloggers were ushered to the waiting vehicles, offered keys and laminated driving routes to an eleven minute all right hand turn course. Very anti-Nascar.
Paired up with Dawn Camp of myhomesweethome, I snagged the keys for the 2 door Sky convertible, stashed my Hemmie’s bag in the tiny trunk then convinced one of the GM guys to take off the top.


Unlike the push button automation of my friend’s Mercedes convertible, it took three of us to manually lower and stow the Sky’s small cloth top. Inside, you have to twist a lever and push up on the lid, disconnecting it from the windshield. Getting out of the car, you have to open the clamshell tonneau cover, disconnect 2 pins to free the roof, then accordion the whole thing into the trunk well. Closing the cover perfectly is not easy either and though we thought we had it right, as we drove away the dash lit up telling us the trunk was ajar, accompanied by a soft bell alarm. As much as we ignored it, the alarm and the dashboard light stayed on. At one red light Dawn tried forcing the cover into place, without success.
I could blame the missed turn on the distraction of the dinging bell, the wind snarling my hair, or all the fun gadgets of the small roadster, but honestly, even though our version was an automatic, the Sky was just too much fun to drive, zipping through turns, accelerating past buses, then braking smoothly to make that tight u-turn back.
I’d like to see this car with a few extras, like real chrome, classier buttons and dials, a purse hook, an upgraded stereo and navigation system, and more comfortable seats. I was cramped with my knees against the steering column, and I’m only 5’8”. I can’t imagine a tall man in this car, but at least he’d be able to stash his sunglasses and wallet in the secret compartment in the interior rear wall. Despite the roof difficulties, zero trunk or purse space, one—and one is the appropriate number for this car— would turn heads driving this baby around town, and sometimes that’s all one wants to do.
When we returned the car to the watch-tapping Saturn employee, she reluctantly handed over the keys to another car. This time to Dawn and for the biggest one they make.
The 2009 Saturn Outlook.
Dawn has eight kids. She needs lots of seats. I like big dogs and Costco, so I need cargo room. The Outlook XR has both, with some extras I thought only came with its pricier counterparts: dual moon roofs, XM radio, Bluetooth and Onstar technology, a navigation system, ceiling mounted DVD player and easy access to third row seats via folding and reclining second row seats, (similar to reclining in a coach class seat on Delta).
Once I got past the strong synthetic smell—more plastic than new car—I could appreciate the expansive interior of this eight passenger vehicle. As large as the Outlook is, it maneuvers like a smaller car and rides just as smoothly. Unlike some SUVs, you won’t feel the “truck” of this vehicle until you need to haul Grandma’s couch, move the kid to college or tow the boat to the lake. Then, you’ll be glad you have this Saturn in your arsenal.

The first thing I noticed about GM’s Saturn line was the streamlined, sporty, European exteriors. On the road they could easily be mistaken for much more expensive vehicles.
The Aura, of which Saturn offers four models, was no exception.
This Camry and Accord competitor had plenty of head, shoulder and leg room in the backseat with good visibility, avoiding both the possibility of rear seat carsickness or knees bumping into the driver’s back.
Slipping into the driver’s seat, I forgave the synthetic smell and stiff Mexican leather once I found the seat heaters and snuggled into the perfectly aligned lumbar support. The dashboard’s cheesy faux wood grain and washing machine dials were retro in a bad way lending to the I-wish-I-made-more-money-but-this-will-do-for-now appeal.
And then, I found the paddle shifters. Something Saturn calls TAPshift.

Before arriving at the TWELVE lobby in Atlantic Station, I had done a little research about Saturns, thinking I had to be able to speak comparatively, as I can be a bit of a car snob. Driving a new luxury sports car can spoil a girl. And, given the fact that the last car review I participated in was hosted by Porsche, I wanted to keep my perceptions real.
So when I put the Aura in manual mode I wasn’t expecting much, and I wasn’t disappointed. Don’t ask me about horsepower, or even the exact specs of the model we were driving, just hear me when I say, no one is buying this car to street race BMW M5’s at midnight. And that’s fine. What they will be buying this car for is its smooth, dependable, stylish ride that won’t break the bank. Sensible can be sexy.

Our last ride of the day was in the one vehicle I was most interested in and the one I am actually in the market to buy. The new VUE Hybrid, a slick crossover vehicle similar in style to Nissan’s Rogue. Not yet available to the public, the V-6 model we drove has been testing out at 28/31 mpg. Not too shabby. GM’s Curt Collins, an Outlook and Sky Product Manager joined Dawn and I to show us the VUE’s features and explain how the new hybrid works. We were glad to have him aboard from the start, when he had to tell us the car was on. It was that quiet.
Surrounded by a leather interior, navigation system, XM radio, Bluetooth technology and all the safety features you could need, it didn’t feel any different from riding in a traditional car. The VUE handled well in traffic, accelerating without hesitation, due to the smart electric power assist. I hardly knew we were in a hybrid, except for a muted thump sound at the green light when the “stalled” engine restarted.
I could get used to that, and eventually I could even get used to not staring at the very cool center console informational panel that details the switch from engine to battery as kinetic energy is converted to electric energy and stored in the hybrid battery. It was like a mini-science fair project and we were the proud parents.
Maybe it was just me, but I felt richer, smarter and more environmentally conscious just riding around in Saturn’s VUE Hybrid. I wonder if those feelings could rub off on my fourteen and a half year old son who’s itching to drive?
Just something to ponder as I went inside for the meet and greet.

The small, sectioned-off lobby of TWELVE is like the anteroom of a cathedral—drafty and echoey but without the statues. Once all twenty-five bloggers had turned in their keys and cashed in their drink tickets, we snacked on puff pastry, mini crab balls and blue cheese and beef skewers, then got down to what bloggers do best. Telling stories.
The more wine and martinis, the more animated the conversations, from cakes gone bad to babies gone wild, we covered the gamut. And then we had dessert.
Oh, we talked cars too.
There was no mention of torque, differential or psi, but the folks at Saturn should know we tossed around a few adjectives for their cars: pretty, classy, nice, affordable and sweet.