Habits I'm glad I never started.

• Tipping the grocery store bag boy.
• Smoking cigars.
• Picking the lint from my belly button on Tuesdays.
• Serving nightly gourmet meals.
• Ironing my sheets.
• Greeting new neighbors with cakes.
• Kissing strangers the European way.
• Maintaining a vegetable garden.
• Biting my toenails.
• Thumb twiddling, or wrestling.
• The Midnight Snack.
• Running Marathons
• Weighing myself daily.
• Making New Year's Resolutions

A Holiday for Sluts. Happy Halloween.

Browsing the rack of costumes at the local Target with my 12 year old daughter, we both came to the conclusion that Halloween is the Holiday for skin bearing teens to get a little more promiscuous... as if a holiday was in fact necessary. One click on Google brought me here:

Slutty Halloween Costumes

Adult

French Maid Dress Costume

XS (Teen), Small & Medium

 Don't think I am a prude- by any stretch- I have absolute admiration for beauty, in all forms. And I do love the costume party. Sexy outfits or scary, I say.

 I had a recent tête-à-tête with a guy pal about the outfits some "kids" are wearing in public on a regular basis.  My point was, dang.. save some mystery. His point was, nope, make me stop and stare.  


And when the DH said he was recently hit on by very touchy-feeling co-eds so skantily clad they were presumed to be cheerleaders, I was thinking... but were they pretty on the inside, too? 


Of course when forty- somethings talk about "kids" we mean twenty-somethings, and when we say outfits we mean bikini tops and mini skirts, pajama bottoms and grandpa's flannel shirt, and maybe part of my hesitation now is that A. I am not that twenty-something getting the stop and stare and B. My daughter soon will be.

The life of a writer

It isn't the same for any of us.. and sometimes you want to slap the shit out some of them... but this guy? This guy I want to buy beers with and go sailing.
Check out Mike's great blog post for a fantastic retreat that CATERS TO WRITERS. DO YOU HEAR ME, WORDSMITHS??

What are you counting down to?

It's exactly that long until I will be surrounded by two of the things I love the most.

Water and writers.

JOIN US AT SANTA ROSA BEACH, FLORIDA.

Where will you be?

Tell Me Something Good

You know I like the fashion. You know I like the music. You know I like the CHAKA KHAN.

AND you know I like to tell you something good. It's coming. I promise. For now.. feel the funk.

What should I read next?

You could go here and see what they tell you to read.

 You could answer a few questions here and see what they recommend.

 You could read the NYTimes bestseller list

1	THE GIRL WHO KICKED THE HORNET’S NEST, by Stieg Larsson. (Knopf, $27.95.) The third volume of a trilogy about a Swedish hacker and a journalist. Excerpt	2	14
2	THE POSTCARD KILLERS, by James Patterson and Liza Marklund. (Little, Brown, $27.99.) An N.Y.P.D. detective joins a Swedish reporter in a search for the killer of young couples in Europe, including his daughter and her boyfriend.	1	2
3	SPIDER BONES, by Kathy Reichs. (Scribner, $26.99.) Temperance Brennan investigates the case of a man who seems to have died twice.		1
4	THE HELP, by Kathryn Stockett. (Amy Einhorn/Putnam, $24.95.) A young white woman and two black maids in 1960s ­Mississippi.	3	74
5	BEARERS OF THE BLACK STAFF (LEGENDS OF SHANNARA), by Terry Brooks. (Del Rey/Ballantine, $27.) The denizens of a valley are left vulnerable when their protective layer of magic disappears.		1
6	STAR ISLAND, by Carl Hiaasen. (Knopf, $26.95.) A paparazzo attempting to kidnap a drug-addled pop star grabs her stunt double by mistake. Excerpt	5	5
7	TOUGH CUSTOMER, by Sandra Brown. (Simon & Schuster, $26.99.) A private investigator pursues a deranged killer.	6	3
8	THE RED QUEEN, by Philippa Gregory. (Touchstone/Simon & Schuster, $25.99.) More intrigue during the War of the Roses; by the author of “The Other Boleyn Girl.”	8	4
9	THE COBRA, by Frederick Forsyth. (Putnam, $26.95.) A former C.I.A. operative is unleashed on the cocaine industry.	4	2
10	THREE STATIONS, by Martin Cruz Smith. (Simon & Schuster, $25.99.) Inspector Arkady Renko faces corrupt Russian capitalists and bureaucrats.	7	2
11	I’D KNOW YOU ANYWHERE, by Laura Lippman. (Morrow/HarperCollins, $25.99.) A man who kidnapped a 15-year-old girl contacts her from death row years later.	16	2
12*	THE REMBRANDT AFFAIR, by Daniel Silva. (Putnam, $26.95.) The art restorer and assassin Gabriel Allon discovers that there are deadly secrets behind a stolen painting.	10	6
13	LAST NIGHT AT CHATEAU MARMONT, by Lauren Weisberger. (Atria, $25.99.) A woman is challenged when her musician husband suddenly becomes a star.	9	2
14	JULIET, by Anne Fortier. (Ballantine, $25.) A woman digging into her Italian roots is surprised by what she learns.		1
15	THE VIGILANTES, by W. E. B. Griffin and William E. Butterworth IV. (Putnam, $26.95.) Members of the Philadelphia Police Department are plagued by vigilante groups.	13	3
Also Selling
16	CROSSFIRE, by Dick Francis and Felix Francis (Putnam)
17	DEAD IN THE FAMILY, by Charlaine Harris (Ace)
18	PRIVATE, by James Patterson and Maxine Paetro (Little, Brown)
19	THE PASSAGE, by Justin Cronin (Ballantine)  Excerpt
20	THE OVERTON WINDOW, by Glenn Beck (Threshold Editions/Mercury Radio Arts)
21	VEIL OF NIGHT, by Linda Howard (Ballantine)
22	SIZZLING SIXTEEN, by Janet Evanovich (St. Martin’s)
23	THE BLACK PRISM, by Brent Weeks (Little Brown & Company)
24	A DOG'S PURPOSE, by W. Bruce Cameron (Forge)
25	THE LION, by Nelson DeMille (Grand Central)
26	THE THOUSAND AUTUMNS OF JACOB DE ZOET, by David Mitchell (Random House)  Excerpt
27	THE LAST LIE, by Stephen White (Dutton)
28	THE EVOLUTIONARY VOID, by Peter F. Hamilton (DelRey/Ballantine)
29	FLY AWAY HOME, by Jennifer Weiner (Atria)
30	HANGMAN, by Faye Kellerman (Morrow/HarperCollins)
31	SUPER SAD TRUE LOVE STORY, by Gary Shteyngart (Random House)  Excerpt
32	BAD BOY, by Peter Robinson (Morrow/HarperCollins)
33	THE SEARCH, by Nora Roberts (Putnam)
34	THE GLASS RAINBOW, by James Lee Burke (Simon & Schuster)
35	DEATH ON THE D-LIST, by Nancy Grace (Hyperion)

 

or you could ask a friend

so, I'm asking...

 What should I read next?

A real story of BFF's

The Girls from Ames:

 A Story of Women & a Forty-Year Friendship

by Jeffrey Zaslow

 Born in the same year as the girls in the book, with a similar small town upbringing and  an even more similar group of close female friends, friends, that I still- in my forties, vacation with, I was drawn to the idea of this book and intrigued even more by the fact that an outsider wrote it, an outsider who’s a man.

 Wall Street Journal’s Moving On columnist, Zaslow, opens The Girls from Ames with the explanation of how he learned of these extraordinary women and their bond, and how he came to write about it- a section that intrigued the story seeker in me.

Zaslow writes a story with a journalistic bent, but manages to portray the love and closeness of these friendship bonds as the tale unfolds.

 Some of the characters seemed to be more eager to share their lives, more willing to open up for the sake of the book, but even those that fell into the background still came across as women you’d like to also meet and spend time with. I found myself comparing my friends to the girls, fitting us all into categories- athletic, popular, intellectual, hard working, nurturing...

 I hate to laugh at the way Zaslow spoke of the differences of male-male friendships and female-female ones. It reminded me of a similar conversation I had just engaged in with my gal pals. The fact that our husbands know nothing of their co-worker’s or even casual friends’ lives… the fact that most of the time the only reason they have some of these friends is because we- the wives- introduced them.

 I’m used to making new friends, and could associate with some of the women in the book who started over, came in late, or fell away a bit. Having moved more than 13 times in my adult life, I’m always leaving someone behind. Thanks to the Internet and cheap telephone plans, I’m able to continue to keep up with them and their families, although I wish the face to face time was more frequent. 

Like the girls in the book, my friends and I have been through our stages of life together, and separately, each one finding their way- to marriage, through divorce, into motherhood and through the illnesses and deaths of loved ones.

 After we rekindled some friendships face to face at our 20^th high school reunion, we decided that turning forty was a worthy milestone to begin annual girls only reunions, preferably at a warm locale with lots of wine.

I found a large house in Hilton Head, one row back from the beach, with a private pool and plenty of beds.

One flew in from London, two drove separately from Atlanta, Georgia, one from Greenville, SC, one flew down from NJ, another from upstate NY, and the last of the group drove down from NC.

We were all married, some on their second marriage, and all but one of us had children, with one pregnant at the time- it was the second marriage baby, giving her a whopping thirteen years between kids.

 We came together over food and wine and shared old stories and caught each other up on our daily happenings. There were still "preferred BFF's", but it wasn't as pronounced as high school... whether it was because of our age and new maturity or the time that had lapsed, I don't know. But we bonded, and we began to build a new kind of friendship- one that will last at least another twenty years.

If you haven't read the book, I highly recommend it. There is even a website to help you keep the girls straight, or learn more about them.
THE BOOK PAGE

Maybe reading this book will make you want to physically re-connect with your girlfriends, taking the social network "poke" to the next level, and planning that trip to the Caribbean that you had always dreamed of.

Teaching you how to say a hottie's name

Free Book! Getting the Pretty Back.

Molly is Getting the Pretty Back, after 40.

She's talking all about it.
 Here she's interviewed for USA TODAY.

Has a video up here: On the Daily Stab

Michigan likes it. as do Detroit and San Francisco.

 I'm starting my copy this week, and will post a review as well.

 And for one lucky reader... you can win a free copy!
all you have to do is send a comment, with a way to reach you.

If your name is selected, I will mail you the book and perhaps a secret surprise.

Feeling the Squeeze? Frugality is the new Norm.

FRUGALITY? Yahoo news had this to say.

A few years ago I was thinking bigger house, pool, 4 car garage, entertainment terrace with pool table and full Irish pub. I was wanting more space, blank walls, a need to spread my arms and not touch a fence or a neighbor's mailbox. My kids were older, didn't need to run next door and play, didn't need the community pool or courts or playground.
Thinking about upscale living made me work harder. After all, bills would be higher... keeping up with the Joneses ain't cheap and it ain't pretty.
 But I love my house. And all the changes I've made. I wasn't ready to commit to something new, something time sucking. I had a novel or two to complete. A few more countries to cross off the list.
 So here we are. In the smallest house ever, and pretty darn happy.
 I am learning to cut back on non essentials, to make for even more rainy day money. And just last week decided some of the hidden costs of special TVchannels and landlines we never answer and a massage place I never visit could probably disappear painlessly.
 Next step, coupon cutting and wholesale shopping. Meal planning and maybe even... cleaning my own house.  steps like this could buy my beach escape all that sooner-- though with an oil spill approaching, I might be going Atlantic instead of Gulf. It's just 6 hours in the other direction, right?

SAVING YOU A SHITLOAD

   I only want to help you spend your money wisely, as I begin budget #5,678.

look- coupons!

Who doesn't like a murder trial?

Some People like to think life imitates art... and maybe ART id too strong of a term for athe afternon soaps.. but I can't help think I've seen this tiral, protect someone you love, confess to the bad guy thing before... in real life. Hmmmm.
 That said, you'll want to watch General Hospital this week, as some nicely dressed, well coifed men get angry... and maybe, get even.
 I had to giggle at the view of the single commenter on this site, regarding the storyline this week.
 You go girl!

  

I am a participant in a Mom Central campaign for ABC Daytime  and will receive a tote bag or other General Hospital branded items to facilitate my review.

Your Viewing Pleasure on The View this week. I'm like your TV Guide.

Straight from the mouths of those BEHIND THE SCENES girls.... my notes in RED

MONDAY, MARCH 8 – The day after the Oscars!!  It Isn’t over till the co-hosts have spoken! And the armed guards have picked up the borrowed jewelry. Guest co-host Vanessa Williams love her- used to see her drunk in Syracuse in the bars when she went to college there (“ABC’s Ugly Betty”); Day of “Hot Topics”; co-host Sherri Shepherd will Skype live from Hollywood post-Academy Awards and share her Oscar experience; Chris Cuomo breaks down crimes in the headlines.  Interesting... because there's not ENOUGH bad news, you have to tell us twice??? First time musical guests – Lady Antebellum perform Totally love them.

TUESDAY, MARCH 9 – Guests -Andy Garcia and his daughter Dominik Garcia-Lorido (“City Island”); Elissa Stein and Susan Kim (author, Flow: The Cultural Story of Menstruation).oh-kay. Totally EWWW.

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 10 – Guests: Forest Whitaker (“Our Family Wedding”); Jesse Ventura (author, American Conspiracies). I know his ex-campaign manager... and some secrets!

THURSDAY, MARCH 11 – Sir Elton John will be sitting with the women at the table and partaking in “Hot Topics”; Going to wear some special glasses for this one,. Should be a hoot. Guest - Eric McCormack (“Who Is Clark Rockefeller?”).

FRIDAY, MARCH 12 – Co- Host Kate Gosselin is back and will join the women and the return of “The View: Fashion Friday” with designer Carolina Herrera. Taking bets on what Kate's hair is going to look like now.....

  I am a participant in a Mom Central campaign for ABC Daytime and will receive a totebag or other The View  branded items to facilitate my review.

 

 If you like knowing stuff, secret spoiler- like stuff about your favorite soap operas, it's not hard to find it.

 Try this one for General Hospital.

It's fun knowing what other people don't. Imagine the fun head games you can play with Rose from Accounting in the break room. Tell her.. You're PSYCHIC.

 heh heh


Watch online at ABC DAYTIME.

I am a participant in a Mom Central campaign for ABC Daytime  and will receive a tote bag or other General Hospital branded items to facilitate my review.

Thursday is International Women Day. So Watch Women on TV.

If you missed the show on Wednesday, Mar 3: They were featuring the best of “View Tube,” including backstage antics and celebrity exit interviews. Lisa Kudrow of “Who Do You Think You Are”  joined in.  Watch the episode online, if your DVR messed up like mine.

But don't miss these upcoming episodes:

•      Thursday, Mar 4: Celebrity guest co-host Valerie Bertinelli, former Oscar nominee Abigail Breslin from Broadway’s “The Miracle Worker,” Mia Wasikowska from Disney’s “Alice in Wonderland,” and a musical performance from Broadway’s “Fela” will be featured on this jam-packed episode.

•      Friday, Mar 5: The View’s “Road to the Oscars” episode welcomes former Oscar nominee Don Cheadle and Wesley Snipes and “Fashion Friday” celebrates “The History of Oscar Fashions” with a two-part look back at some of the most memorable – and perhaps forgettable – Oscar hits and misses, with host and celebrity stylist Robert Verdi. Hosts of “At the Movies” Michael Phillips and Tony Scott will also be on set to unveil their 2010 Oscar predictions.

And we'll see you next week.

I am a participant in a Mom Central campaign for ABC Daytime and will receive a totebag or other The View  branded items to facilitate my review.

It's Vampires and Gossip and a Fashion Contest. Yes, I said CONTEST.

Did you see him? Still not sure why this dude is a heart throb....

But, what do I know?

 If you missed it, you can catch this episode of The View here. 

But, now, I think instead of talking about boys and vampires or politics or bad mommies. We should talk fashion:

 Look what THE VIEW has for you:

Calling All Fashionistas! You Could Be On "The View"!

Calling all fashionistas! The View is looking for women that love styling outfits and the latest trends, and would like to participate in a possible upcoming fashion challenge segment. 
Are you looking for an outfit to wear to any of the following events?

• Meeting your in-laws for the first time
• Coming back from maternity leave
• Going to your high school reunion
• Blind date
• Coffee with your ex 
• Dream job interview

Send us a full body picture and tell us in 50 words or less why you need an outfit to wear to the event, and you could end up featured on The View!

Now, that's a subject I could go on and on and on and on about......

I am a participant in a Mom Central campaign for ABC Daytime and will receive a totebag or other The View  branded items to facilitate my review.

Behind the scenes.. Soap Style.

Ok. I have a scoop for you:
This week on General Hospital a cop is determined to put his mobster father behind bars and might have to use his brother to do it. 
Also this week, Dante questions his own brother— will Michael confess or will Dante realize on his own that it was Michael who was responsible for killing Claudia and not Sonny?
let's see the bad boys: Michael

Dante 
 Hmmm. I say put them in a pool of jello wearing tighty whities and let's see who's the bad guy. I'm just sayin'....

See this youtube Behind the Scenes view- it's almost 2 years old, but it still, you can feel like you are privy to TV magic, right? Liek a real Soap Opera Stalker Cat Loving Lady. yeah.

I am a participant in a Mom Central campaign for ABC Daytime  and will receive a tote bag or other General Hospital branded items to facilitate my review.

Hot guys on ABC.

We all have our TV crushes. according to this report:
 these are the hottest men on TV today.


 Take this quiz at the General Hospital site and see which dude you should, could or would be dating...   GO HERE.

 And then you can do the whole Old Spice commercial thing..







look at the ABC guys and then look across the couch at your significant other.. and then click on the next picture.

 I am a participant in a Mom Central campaign for ABC Daytime  and will receive a tote bag or other General Hospital branded items to facilitate my review.

A mother's Guilt x8, or wait is that x14?

Some people- men- might say being a mother is a blessing. That it is a joy.
On some occasions I might agree.
But most times, motherhood is one big guilt trip.
You feel guilty for not being there, for being there and not doing more, for not being able to understand a cry, a moan, a whine. For embarrassing them, for feeding them too much or too little, for not providing for them, for providing too much for them. For good advice you gave and they didn't take, for bad advice you gave that they took, for wearing elastic waist paints-- once. For being cool. For not being cool. For asking about- that thing. For not asking about- that thing. For giving them your genes, or not. For continuing to mother them when they are so obviously too old for that.
sigh. Is it any wonder I stopped at two?
As if I didn't have enough guilt already. I grew up Catholic.

But OCTOMOM?
 woah.
 you crazy.

   watch her on














 and tell me what you think.

I am a participant in a Mom Central campaign for ABC Daytime and will receive a totebag or other The View  branded items to facilitate my review.

We used to want our MTV, not we want our DVR.

There's something about watching a TV program when YOU want to watch- not when the programming channel chooses to air it.
 I feel a little bit superior each time I fast forward through a commercial, pause a live shot and repeat the crash of the Olympic bobsledder in slow motion three, four, five times.
  So, when I actually choose to sit still for a few moments, remote in one hand, something else in the other... I make full use of the DVR- or in our case, Charter's dual DVR  HD unit MOXIE BOX.

That is unless, some idiot pulling a house on wheels crashes and takes out your whole neighborhood's feed.
 AHH. yeah.
 But, that's not today.

Today, I can watch on my TV- any one of them, and also follow along with ABC via computer, or blackberry link.
I might choose to watch TV while waiting in line at the grocery store- maybe even tuning in to a rerun of Tiger Woods' public statement, or to see the ladies of The View tackle some politics this morning, with this Senator.  Not that I'm into politics or anything.

But, know I like the line up later in the week, when we get to see the antics of the cast of THE JERSEY SHORE

.

Which I admit to seeing once- and a good episode it was- as we made use of the DVR once again to repeat and slo- mo the punch/ backhand one of the classy broads gave one of the ass-holey guys. SIGH.
Whatever has become of television? Tune in tomorrow- or later today and find out.

I am a participant in a Mom Central campaign for ABC Daytime and will receive a totebag or other The View  branded items to facilitate my review.

Inside scoop from The View, or a re-cap... depending on when you read this.

Yesterday, Barbara Walters announced on The View that she was "retiring" --not from the show but from her Oscar Night interview special. 

After twenty-nine years she says she feels like "she's been there, done that." And that's enough.

How honest is that? Wow. 

Think of how many people, as Barbara pointed out, have said they were retiring, but didn't. It reminds me of those stores in New York City with the GOING OUT OF BUSINESS  banners. Some of them have been going out of business for sixteen years. Apparently, the fine for lying about your business status is cheaper than decent honest advertising. Then again, with the number of visitors to NYC, no one even questions the sale, just takes the great deal home and brags about how they scored- just in time.

And that's only part of it. Sometimes the retired athlete comes back because he's been taunted and has something to prove, the retired singer needs more cash, the retired actor finally lost the weight, or is no longer needed at home as Mommy.

Maybe Barbara's moving over to let someone else take the reins at the Oscar interviews, to see if some other blonde can make grown men cry. 

I've always heard that like the buy low, sell high mentality of stocks, you want to get out of business while you're on top. You want to retire when you still have plans, while you can still enjoy all the things not going to work means. Leisure time, travel, hobbies, family...when you are young enough- and still wise enough to have a life. 

Why store up tomorrows? Take Barbara's advice. Retire and stay retired. And know when enough is enough.

Don't be like my grandfather who worked in banking his whole life and spent weekends planning for all the things he would do after retirement--only to die, plans intact, merely months after receiving the gold watch.

Watch today's episode of THE VIEW to hear about the new mobile phone problem for your teen... or your Tiger Woods-like husband: SEXTING. What's it all about? Tune in and find out.

 I am a participant in a Mom Central campaign for ABC Daytime and will receive a totebag or other The View  branded items to facilitate my review.

Sweet Soap Opera Memories of Villians and Sex Fiends

 

Wow. Has it really been that long? I remember watching in 1978... It's hard to believe that I was there way back when...

 when Luke raped Laura, when their wedding got more viewers than the nuptials of a certain Prince of Wales, when Greeks went psycho with Liz Taylor on board, when amateur golfers/singers TV-dated real life wives, when pregnant women fell down stairs, when haters became lovers after being trapped together, when marriages were for convenience, when the bad guy died, when the good guy died, when a long lost twin returns, when someone got addicted to pain killers, when someone went crazy and was sent away, when a baby was born, when a plan was hatched, when someone said, "it wasn't me." and  when something irretrievably lost was once again found.

 Ahhh. the Soap Opera.
 It's alive and well.


  watch current episodes online, wherever, whenever ABC DAYTIME

And if you're still watching, if you still haven't had all 7 plots hammered into your skull....
 here's some spoilers for the week.

 because who doesn't like a secret or two?

Wednesday, February 17:

• Sonny has overwhelming legal woes.
• Lucky agrees to help Elizabeth.
• Luke has an uneasy feeling of deja vu.

Thursday, February 18:

• Helena mocks Elizabeth.
• Jason has another warning for Sonny.
• Carly takes over.

Friday, February 19:

• Johnny starts on his revenge against Sonny.
• Sonny and Olivia have a major confrontation.
• Nikolas declares his love for Elizabeth. 

 

I am a participant in a Mom Central campaign for ABC Daytime  and will receive a tote bag or other General Hospital branded items to facilitate my review.

General Hospital Secrets

Sheeeeee's BAAACK.

That's right, soon to make a reappearance- another bad girl you love to hate. Or hate to love.



I'm always womdering how the soap stars stay so young... so current?
 I mean, seriously, has  Jackie Zeman aged a bit?

 Want some more oldies but goodies to come back?
 check it out:

•	Waltons vet Michael Learned to appear in story arc on General Hospital
•	Newcomer cast as Maya Ward, Edward's great granddaughter
•	Condition upgraded: Scott Reeves now on contract
•	Lindze Letherman (ex-Georgie) returning to GH

Don't forget to enter the sweepstakes for your chance at a walk on role, and don't worry, if the DVR messes up- you can watch your episodes online.

 I am a participant in a Mom Central campaign for ABC Daytime  and will receive a tote bag or other General Hospital branded items to facilitate my review.

In that way I have of making it all be about me, yet still referencing TV.

Okay, so it's another day of talking about TV.  specifically:

I really like the behind the scenes videos shot informally, like this one of SADIE, the winner of the Westminster Dog Show.
You have to get past Whooopie talking about leaky bladder ( didn't Rosie talk about that problem too? Well there's 2 out of 6, so maybe we're safe. Ah-choo!) but the part where the dog gets washed with human shampoo is cute- and of course, in typical Linda fashion, it all leads to a life story.

 when I was in high school, my best friend invited me join her at a dog show. Until that time, I had no idea that her family was so into dogs. her mother was in fact a breeder of Champion Weimaraners and German Short Haired Pointers. My friend was, as she humbly admitted, one of the top junior handlers in the nation, and owned a Champion 15 inch Beagle- a dog I'd never seen.
In her house, dogs weren't pets to be fed table scraps. They were kept in the kennels, fed a special blend of food, groomed with precision and crated nightly. they had long names and the pedigrees to match.

I thought going to the show would be fun. I had no idea of the long hours, stress and amount of work that happened when you were owner-handlers. I just tried to stay out of the way as dogs were blown dried, had their asses wiped and were run from ring to ring, the handlers rubberbanding a different number on their arm for each dog, each event.

I saw the things you see at all of these events- celebrities with fancy dogs. Owners who looked just like human versions of their dogs, and silly things for sale that no 4 legged creature should ever need, but most certainly would be scooped up by chubby woman who called their dog their fur-baby.

I saw a few things, that i never thought about happening inthe ring- the dog who squatted and peed (like Sadie- a BIG no-no), my friend inserting a matchstick in a dog's rectum - a dog known to take nervous shits. He will be puckered his butt around that matchstick and won't - you know- she told me.
 Uh. yeah.
 And something, I never understood even after al those years of watching the AKC shows on TV. The handler puts the dog's treat ( usually dried liver) in their own mouth to hold it... EWWWW.
 So, all that said and done, it was fun and I was hooked. I didn't have thousands of dollars to buy a show dog, but I did get to play with some adorable pure bred puppies and kiss a very cute boy, who it looks like might have continued in the dog world, becoming a very popular professional Handler. or it might be another guy with the same name... I'll let you know on that one.

 Meanwhile.. keeping with the doggie theme
 watch THE VIEW tomorrow

Friday, February 19, 2010 as

Broadway star Bernadette Peters comes by with her dog, and Sherri goes behind-the-scenes at the Westminster Dog Show. Learn more.

And don't forget to fill out your survey and enter the very cool sweepstakes to win a trip to NYC and witness a taping of The View! 

I am a participant in a Mom Central campaign for ABC Daytime and will receive a totebag or other The View  branded items to facilitate my review.